Strong on Paper

Ramos and Alonso Deliberately Get Sent Off

Spotted by Jonny Hayes

Posted by John Morrison

Cluj Manager Beats Up The Dugout

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Miss of the Century

Spotted by Jonny Hayes

Posted by John Morrison

Football Focus’s Dan Walker Creates Star Wars Team

Dan Walker, along with the help of his many Twitter followers, came up with this excellent Star Wars-themed football Football. You can see the full article here. In the picture above he looks like he’s using some Jedi powers to hold that football. 

Team name: Nottingham Forest of Endor or Death Star Belgrade

Manager: Glenn Yoda

Squad: Chewbacary Sagna

Ewok Showumni

Grand Moff Parkin

Alan Hansolo

Zat Jedi Knight

George Lucas Leiva

Jon Obi Wan Mikel Kenobi

Landon Calrissian Donovan

Darth Crooks

Boba Balde Fett

Jabba The Hutton

R2 Zizou

Millennium Falcao

Eirik Chew-Bakke

Lee Young C-3 Pyo

Nani-kin Skywalker

Chris Darth Williams

Ibrahima Chewbakayoko

Princess Weah

Steve Kabba The Hutt

Kevin Princess Leia Boateng

Posted by John Morrison

Joey Barton Breaks Pederson’s Heart

The psycho man who rocked a moustache way before Movemeber, Joey Barton, losses his rag in Sunday’s game against Blackburn by punching Morten Gamst Pederson in the chest. Silly bastard. 

Posted by John Morrison

Holloway Rage

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Gerard Pique Throws Sweets at Man

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Some apPauling Octopus Puns

Paul the Octopus is said to have died peacefully in his tank at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in Germany.

The eight-armed creature correctly predicted the outcome of all of Germany’s World Cup 2010 games as well as the final. He did this by selecting one of two boxes containing mussels, each box had a footballing nation’s flag on it. Therefore the box he ate the mussel from was the team which he ‘predicted’ to win. 

Twitter has, of course, gone on overdrive with the news of his passing. Here is a collections of some of the best puns/jokes etc…

• Asked how they felt about the death of Paul the Octopus, several fish said they were “gutted” - @davidschneider
• I applied to the aquarium today to be a Paul-bearer - @loveandgarbage
• In tribute to Paul the Psychic Octopus, the fourth round of the Carling Cup will be played over eight legs…. - @sajchowdhury
• Paul the Octopus has died. I bet he never saw that coming. - many people
• Nobody was shocked - he’d been on squid row for weeks - Mirror Football

Posted by John Morrison

Andy Carroll’s Car Torched

The car of Newcastle No.9 and general big-shot Andy Carroll has reportedly been set on fire in the drive of team-mate and captain Kevin Nolan’s house. The brand-new Range Rover was torched outside Nolan’s Northumberland home on Wednesday. The assailants also wrote abusive graffiti on Nolan’s garage door.

It hasn’t been the best week for Andy Carroll having been charged with assaulting his 18 year-old ex-girlfriend after she allegedly found him in bed with another women. He was later bailed under the conditions that he lives with Nolan, at his family home.

Carroll has previously been in trouble for breaking the jaw of team-mate Steven Taylor after an alleged row over a women, at Newcastle’s training ground. He has also been cautioned by police for assaulting a women, arrested after smashing a glass in man’s face during a nightclub brawl and fought with former team-mate Charles N’Zogbia at the training ground.

The main issue here though is whether I should keep him in my fantasy football team? Will he do a Lee Bowyer circa 2001 and power through his troubled patch, playing the best football of his career? Or will he do a Wayne Rooney 2010 and sulk around the pitch, unable to control or pass the ball? Tricky.

Posted by John Morrison

Chilean Miner Played International Football

Franklin Lobos, the 27th Chilean Miner to be rescued after bring trapped over 600 meters underground in San Jose Chile, is an ex-professional football player. The 53 year old, who played as a forward, started his career at Cobresal and was known as El Mortero Magico. 

Full story here.

Posted by John Morrison